Just When I Thought it Was Safe to go Back in the Water...

Maybe an exaggeration but wouldn't you know it - a soon as I was about to see how to collect unemployment I get a call from the census bureau.  Yes, adventures in canvassing did end on Monday, but on Wednesday the few, the proud, the feds were called back to do adventures in quality control.  Don't ask.  Twelve hours and 111 miles later I am back home from this morning and the only thing I want to do is watch the Dodgers play the Padres and write this entry.

Other than my tired burning eyes, things are not too shabby.  No dogs today.  There was something that seemed rather racist or maybe just ignorant - a community in one of those remote areas (guessing they had a town hall meeting) actually requested to the sheriff that if the census bureau has to come out that they send only white men.  Interesting.  I won't waste my energy considering the nonsense of that.  I did get a great idea to use in my new screenplay.  On the road again give a mind lots of time to think.

Ciao Y'all.

Adventureless?

Kind of bittersweet today. I was given my walking papers along with the 10 or so out of 60, lucky other census workers from this area who remained after last week. Yes my adventures in canvassing has come to a close. YAY!! No more mean dogs, no more mean people, still probably should be very attentive around train tracks though. Any way, I am happy that this phase is over, and I have been asked to move on to the next phase - who knows when that will begin - my crew leader didn't even know.

No worries -- things are looking good for L'amore it seems the debut at the sorority auction was a great success. In other words, I have a lot of creating to do. I also have a renewed sense of urgency to make this business work -- adventures in canvassing sucked. Like inventory at a large department store - it was something that maybe everyone should experience to appreciate not ever having to do it again if you don't want to. But I am sincerely grateful for the opportunity.

Ciao Y'all

Running From Dogs

This entry is a more in depth story of the one I posted on my L'amore web log, about adventures in canvassing.  These wonderful things (okay I'll stop the sarcasm now), took place yesterday.  

Riding over the rough dirt roads yesterday was enough to thank God for the good condition my SUV is in -- I'm definitely not looking forward to riding in my co-worker's mini van today.   The last time we were in her vehicle the underside of it didn't fair too well and we are not big people.  No fatties on board.  

Any way... My Mom had warned me to continue this area inside the vehicle, but nooooooo that would have been too much like right.  Since I was driving my partner was having to do the map and she insisted on getting out of the vehicle a few times and each time she did -- seriously -- trouble.  Well there was the metrotrain barrelling down on us while we were crossing the track when she probably felt she should have been out of the truck.  No safety  gates that lower when the train is about to come out in this area -- and you can't see them or hear them until they are right on you and they go pretty fast.

So on top of that avoided disaster we met the man who owned the house where the dog was let out the day before.  Nice enough guy - I guess "not".  He offered to take us around in his vehicle because we had to canvass the rest of his property (a lot of ground to cover).  To my dismay, my co-worker thought this was a great idea.  I refused in quite the "FED" tone that we were not allowed to do that.  He insisted that we would get lost - so - co -worker (and let's be clear on this) insisted we drive him around.  For 30 minutes we had somebody riding in the middle row of my truck -- I guess no harm no foul.  He did ask what I could do to help my partner if something were to happen to her.  To that I thought - is he threatening us?  "Sir"   I calmly said, "this vehicle can turn into a weapon of choice".  He then insisted we should pay him for his time, half jokingly I suppose.  To that I "FED" ex'd him again  and told him to send his bill to the federal government.  Bad news of the day, he was the sanest person we met - it did get worse.  So wasn't that's the good news?  No good news other than escaping the train disaster.

The worse was the five dogs - all different sizes who attacked our dust and the SUV.  You always see these funny stories about dogs chasing the mail carrier or some delivery guy - DOGS are no joke - crate them when you are not home.  Or at least make sure your fence is secure.  So here's what happened... wondering about a place, my co-worker gets out of the vehicle and with damn-it on my tongue I open my door and stand guard by the truck.  We are talking when all of a sudden five dogs come racing to the fence!  She asks me if I think the fence is high enough?  I think so.  But I didn't take into account that the fence wasn't low enough!  These crazy maniacs come  burrowing under the fence!  What in the world!!  FIGHT or FLIGHT!  Flight!  I jump in the SUV and slam my door and with her eyes as huge as saucers she comes running twice as fast as her feet can carry her and barely makes it to the other side safe!  I just knew those dogs were going to jump inside.  She made it and all was fine but the blood pressure had to have been off the freakin' charts!  

Then there was the screaming WITCH with a "B".  God please spare me this crap today.  At one place another nice enough guy - kind of sheepish looking, came out to see what we were doing parked on his property.  We told him and that's when it started.  His big mouth wife started screaming, which made the barking dogs bark louder.  She yelled at him about who we were and what we wanted.  She yelled about us being on the property.  She yelled about having to take the dogs inside the gate.  She yelled about what was taking us so long and why he was talking to us.  She yelled about us  - US upsetting the dogs!  What a crazy bitch - sorry she was.  I was very much concerned about our safety here.  I turned the vehicle around so that the back was facing her in case she decided to get the rifle.

My co-worker truthfully exclaimed to me "they don't pay us enough to do this job!"   No joke.

And I have to get out and do it all again today.  And our crew leader insists we get it done today.  Here's the thing, our crew leader didn't and doesn't have to deal with the above mentioned crap!   Thinking if she really thinks this is a gig that is easy in the field - she should come do it.  We're not in Kansas anymore toto .

Ciao y'all

No Dogs Allowed

How many different ways and times can I say this -- KEEP YOUR DOGS UNDER CONTROL while the census workers are out and about updating the nations maps and addresses.  This work is important and a part of the Constitution - it has to be done.  Crate your damn dogs!  

Chased today by two dogs.  One of which the owner of the house let out purposely.  NOT COOL and a federal offense if my co-worker or myself had gotten hurt or worse.  I pray daily for the safety of my co-census workers and myself.  We have found many nice people who are very helpful, but we have also found more than enough mean people.  Not sure how you get the word out to people who choose to live in remote places and not have connection into the world, but maybe someone reading this has a cranky relative who lives in a remote place with a mean big tooth dog -- can you tell them for me and all of my co-workers all over the country -- the census workers mean them no harm and have signs posted in their vehicle windows and wear official badges, and come in peace - until you do something wrong and than the federal marshals will step in.  VERY IMPORTANT TO PASS THIS INFO ON.

Ciao Y'all

The Adventures Continues...

Thursday my canvassing team was informed that we had indeed completed our area before any other team and once we had finished our assigned areas for that day we were released until further notice.  

When a temporary job ends earlier than expected is there a claim to complain?  IDK.  IDC.  The week had indeed been draining and I had some work to catch up on with L'amore and writing.  Not that I don't need to supplement the non payment from the ex, but I was tired of being barked at by dogs and watched very carefully through moving curtains that hang in windows.  I wasn't really worried because I had done my best as a fed.

But then this morning happened and I had my temporary gig again.  This time it came with a clear warning.  I was told the area we are to cover had the 33 severe dog bites, snake sitings, and guns aimed at them.  Thinking real guns and not the BB guns that were shot at me.  Thankfully we will be sent out as teams and rack up a whole lot of miles.  Could be worse.

Ciao Y'all

What a Ransom

Yep - it's Gregoysm day.  And let me tell you something - Gregory doesn't follow his Uncle Curtis' three rules of life.  He is definitely a pig stank (where it falls it stays - messy guy). doesn't care that the post office is always hiring, nor whether or not a bucket of Popeye's chicken can feed you for a week.  But he is very endearing to say the least.

Today after a long day of adventures in canvassing I walked in the house with Chase and had to scurry to get out of the house in 5 minutes because of a baseball game tonight.  Gregory seeing our hurriedness promptly announced that we were the essence of ransomed at that moment.  Ok - I get things done, so I'll take that as a compliment.

Too many dogs on the route today in adventures in canvassing -- just too many.  Don't even want to talk about it.  But I will say that on of my co--canvassers got bit by a dog yesterday.  Chain your dogs people and keep them under watch while we are doing our job.  I can appreciate the postman.

Ciao Y'all

We Got "O" DOG

I missed the Dodgers' home season opener today due to the adventures in canvassing that has overtaken my existence.  But as soon as I got home tonight from watching my favorite little leaguers I tuned into Dodgers Live and heard the astounding word --

"O" DOG (ORLANDO HUDSON) hit for the cycle today!  The 2nd Dodger to hit for the cycle and this hasn't happened since Brett Parker back in 1979 they say.  WOW!  I hope that my DVR is still set to record all the Dodgers all the time.  I'll watch the recording tomorrow since the boys in blue have a day off.  

Oh yeah - - if you don't know what the cycle is in baseball -- the cycle is when one play hits a single, double, triple, and a home run (in no particular order) in one game.  Pretty hard to do.  Very rare.

GO BLUE!

Out of the Box

Tomorrow is the regular baseball matters entry but now that baseball season is here, baseball matters every day!  The Dodgers especially.  The series against the Padres went 2 and 2 - a split.  Not bad, and not good either.

Today's adventures in canvassing actually went better than the Dodgers' game.  I was asked to let a newby shadow me while I worked on an apartment complex - several apartments.  After being shadowed for 6 hours, this body told me that my way was easier and more efficient.  He was relieved and felt he had learned something.  The moral of this learning to me -- there is always the book, but sometimes going off book is best and works out to everyone's advantage.  Be an out-of-the-box thinker and impress somebody.

Ciao Y'all

Wednesday = Gregorysms

After being out for less than 3 hours of adventures in canvassing this morning, I enter the house to "get ready to be ransomed" from you know who.  After a few hours and 87 mapspots  my main interest was not to ransom or be ransomed.  Seeing big as* vultures devouring a lifeless bird was all the fun I could stand for one morning.  GROSS YUK EOW and so on...

On my break, fixing lunch, writing this entry and hopefully I will get the other 3 hours in for today - assignments are running particularly low.  Considering the average is 19 mapspots an hour I should probably still be out there now, but gee wiz it bothers me to walk slow when there's a job to be done.

Ciao Y'all

For Love of the Game

I love the game -- yes even when we lose.  A fan true and through.  The second game of the season for the Dodgers against the Padres ended in a 4 to 2 loss.  As long as we pull out the series, it's ok.  Still love you BLUE.

Adventures in canvassing continues as tomorrow promises rain.  I guess everyone is settling in because the meeting tonight only went an hour and no one look too stressed.  I actually hung around to talk for a while with a co-fed.  We joked about the authentic looking badges that have our names printed on them, that the government so kindly gave us.  One guy said that he was teased about it.  Kind of funny.  I had to use it yesterday to get the receptionist at an assisted living home to give me some information.  I'm such a fed.  

Ciao Y'all